So I called my Grandma today, because I was thinking about her. We talked for about half an hour, and I asked her who she voted for. She replied, “Mitt Romney, because there just wasn’t anyone else.” I don’t think my Southern Baptist grandmother was thrilled about voting for a Mormon and a Yankee, but I’m glad she did.
Then she said, “If I would’ve thought it’d made any difference, I would’ve registered as a Democrat and voted for John Edwards.”
I grinned. “But Grandma,” I began, “John Edwards’ big message is ending poverty. You know, helping the poor people.” (Disclaimer: I am fiscally liberal. I believe in taxation for social programs to help the needy. I just think they need to be more efficient, and will be in the hands of business geniuses like Romney.)
“John Edwards is not for helping poor people,” Grandma scoffed. “He wants to help the middle class, like me.”
“Grandma!” I exclaimed. “You are not the middle class.” (Grandma and her wonderful husband Earl live in a comfortable house on a quiet cul-de-sac. They just got back from a Mediterranean cruise. Earl bought a $15,000 Turkish rug. They are traveling to Switzerland in May. They drive two late model cars, and as far as I can tell have no financial worries.)
“Why, yes, we are middle class,” retorted Grandma. “And so are your parents.”
“My parents are not middle class.” I said. (My parents have a nice house, four nice cars, two kids in college, a time share in Hilton Head, and a Wii.) “Middle class people are those who cannot afford to send their children to college.”
“No,” Grandma replied, “Poor people cannot afford to send their children to college.”
“No, Grandma,” I sighed. “Poor people cannot afford food.”
“Those would be the very poor people,” Grandma said. “There are five classes of people: very poor, poor, middle class, rich, and wealthy.”
1. I think my grandma should stick to voting Republican.
2. It’s a good thing she doesn’t create the tax system for the IRS.
3. I told her I was going to blog this. I hope she’s not offended.