Oh, Papa

I’m a lot sadder than I thought I would be. Sad knowing that Papa’s not there anymore, in Columbia, and I won’t see him the next time I visit.

Mainly I’m sad because I’m not there to support my family, especially my dad. I am furiously trying to make it work to be there. I mean, I could just hop in the car and drive eight hours. People do it all the time. What’s stopping me? Sick kids, mainly. The fatigue of having cared for them for the past week and nearing my exhaustion point. Ben woke up this morning at 5:30 and just went to sleep, at 10 p.m. I’m exhausted and I’m afraid I’ll drive three hours and my eyes will no longer want to stay open. That’s what’s keeping me here, and filling me with guilt for not being in Columbia.

Christopher has simple solutions. A non-stop flight is available for $600. I could ask someone to keep Megan and Gavin until he gets home tomorrow evening. When it comes to things like this, he is not worried about money, and the logistics seem simple. Would it be crazy to pay $600 to attend Papa’s funeral, or crazy not to?

I’m so conflicted!

Obituary here

Advertisements

2 thoughts on “Oh, Papa

  1. I'm kinda glad to hear you are having a harder time than you thought you would. I definitely am, and now I don't feel so alone with it. I read the obit and had the hardest time with the pallbearers. something about the image of my brother and cousins carrying my Papa in a box was more than I could bear.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s