The silver lining

Everyone seems to be on the mend now. We took Megan to the dentist quickly after school when she complained of tooth and gum pain for 2-3 days, but it turned out to be “growing pains.” She has two bottom canines coming in, and the dentist thinks her lower jaw is growing, as well. Motrin for pain, which is what the school nurse told me yesterday.

The pneumonia seems to be in the past, along with the boys’ illnesses. I started a sore throat today, but I’m going to bed as soon as Megan does and hopefully will fight it off.

I’m 13 weeks today, and I’m definitely improving. I’m cleaning more, making dinner, and taking the kids to the park in the afternoon. The weather has been amazing. The evenings are still tough. It’s nice when Christopher handles kitchen clean-up, or putting Ben to bed. I still feel nauseated and tired, just not AS.

Emotionally, I’m a little bit of a wreck. I can’t figure out why I felt so sure about having another baby until I actually got pregnant. Now I’m just feeling overwhelmed. I wonder about the impact on my kids. Then I realize, it’s okay. We will still have enough time with four children. I am still snuggling with Megan and Gavin individually and listening to their days. We talk over dinner. We read scriptures and have family night. In the mornings, Ben and I snuggle on the couch and share snacks and watch PBS, or even, like this morning, go the park (Ben got double park time today).

What has changed in the past two months is the kids’ responsibilities. They now make their own school lunches and store them in the refrigerator overnight. Megan clears and cleans the table every night after dinner. They are folding and putting away clothes, picking up the living room. And I think it’s actually a good thing. They are becoming even more capable, when I’m laying on the couch, spent.

Maybe I will stretch myself a little more with this new baby. But I don’t think we’ll be stretched too thin, in the end. I think four is definitely the max for us, but I think it will be good for everyone.

****

Update: After I read this post it occurred to me that I talked about the time I devote to my kids, and didn’t mention Christopher. Yes, that will be the challenge over the next few years of carpools and diapers, until our kids are sleeping at night and wiping their own bums. The challenge: keeping the flame burning when we (I) are too tired to do anything at night but drool on our pillows.

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4 thoughts on “The silver lining

  1. Yup, you've nailed everything on the head. Having more children DOES make the older ones grow up more, be more responsilbe AND more dependable. You will be amazed at how much Megan will actually be able to help with the baby! Its wonderful to have someone who can entertain them when they fuss or whatever. It IS good for them to have more expected of them. I'm glad to see everyone growing. Even Ben will have to start growing a little when the baby's needs will take precident over him and he will need to adjust. Growing isn't easy, on any of us, but the end results are worth the stretch 🙂 Good job Lauren…..

  2. I think you'll do great with four. Once the pregnancies are actually over and the nursing and getting up in the night is done, the flame comes back. no worries.

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