When my mom last visited, she exclaimed, “I am so bored!” She is used to working full-time, running around, eating out. Gone are the days she would meet Melody at Target (with Allison, Ethan, Miranda, and Jordan in tow) just so they could walk around. True story.
However, I have fully embraced the boredom. That’s what my life is now, I’ve decided. Alternating boredom and chaos. And I’m loving it. When Megan and Gavin were little, I thought I had to fill every moment. Not now. If I have a minute of peace, I’m reading, or sleeping, or blogging, or cooking. If I have a minute alone with Ben, I am reading to him, kissing him. If I’m with Logan, I’m nuzzling my nose in his neck and sniffing in all that baby scent, squishing his little cheeks, or simply gazing into his eyes. His eyes are amazing. I looked into all my kids’ eyes the other day. Megan’s are a bright, light blue. She gets that from her Grandpa Richins. Gavin’s are about the same. Ben’s are a much deeper shade, almost violet, from his Grammy. Logan’s are steel gray, and in one eye he has a big fleck of brown. I wonder if they will change.
Then, there’s the chaos. This can happen at any time, but is most common around 8 a.m. or 5 p.m. Breakfast/dinner to prepare, kids to dress or bathe, homework to do or put in backpacks. A baby crying, siblings laughing, siblings fighting. I have decided to also embrace the chaos. This basically means, that at any given moment, if you walk into my house, it is likely to look like a bomb went off. If you give me a few minutes notice, I can probably make the downstairs presentable. But embracing the chaos means leaving the mess until I can get to it, and not beating myself up about it. It means turning on the TV while I finish up dinner, or letting Ben play with my cell phone, which usually involves a call to Poppy. My dad said the other day, “Why is your house so LOUD?!” Embracing the chaos, Dad. Embracing the chaos.
This week consisted of shopping at four different stores to fill the pantry post-snowstorm. Some food is cheaper at the grocery store, some at Target, some at Costco and some at Trader Joe’s. So sometimes I just don’t know where to go, and I end up running all around to get exactly what I want for the best prices. This was a rare occurrence, though. Ben went to preschool Monday and Wednesday morning, and Tuesday we went to open play at the Lutheran church up the street. He may attend preschool there next year. Megan and Gavin were so excited to get back to school. And tomorrow is Ben’s birthday! Can’t believe he is almost three. It seems like just yesterday I was being wheeled into the hospital, ten centimeters dilated, while Christopher parked the car and the orderly cleared everyone get out of the elevator so he could rush me up to the eighth floor. Ah, Ben makes every day an adventure.